Every week, I’m in charge of rallying the team to GoToMeeting to chat about the current happenings of the team. While the list I’ve seen in other companies is boring and something people get ready to do Sudoku for, I’ve taken a different approach.

Here is an example of this week’s Itinerary:

Bring your lollersk8s for this epic sure-to-be-rofl good time. Dan’s in Barcelona (Barthelona if you speak Castillian, which I believe Dan! does not [thhhhhherveeethhhhaaaaaaa, por favor?]), Mike is staying in Florida for a few days to shake the potential chilliness of the great Northwest, and Kim Jeung-Il has named me Compassionate Caregiver for all y’all.

Here’s the agenda, which is sure to please:

  • Jenn is buying a Delorean this weekend. Let’s help her with the difficult question – which speed flux capactior does she need? Also, what color makes it faster?
  • Thomas is celebrating his birthday tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ve already got my Amish Mafia to go over and put a horse-head-made-out-of-bread into his bed while he’s sleeping. Feel free to spank him on webcams
  • The Compassionate Caregiver will talk about the new Account Executive role, and how my hands will feed your mouths
  • Hondo wants to talk about new work. Nobody will probably care, as they’ll be shaking gifts under their tree, trying to figure out why one is heavy and slightly stinky (OrderPoo.com, anyone?)
  • Laura laura laura will be talking in-character as she reports on Service (wo)Manager stuff. She’s doing a play this weekend where she’s an irate 6 year old drunk, who can’t find her crayons.
  • Mike does what Mike does. A little bit of this, some of that, direction, quantify, moist moist moist. The usual.

1:30pm EDT
1. Please join my meeting.

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A few weeks ago, I had Flava Flav’s “Unga Bunga Bunga” song stuck in my head (anyone else love Breaking Bad?). When I sat down to compose the notes for the team meeting, this is what my fingers did:

Subject: Team meeting-a-bing-a-bang-a-bunga!

UNGA BUNGA BUNGA G!

SUSAN – Thank you for the “The cake is a Lie” sticker. I just got it, and the book.

Team – What’s up in your life? Ring ding dong. Ringa ding ding dong.
Jenn – Google verified mumbo jumbo
Hondo – STOP THIS CRAZY THING! and give us a quick and dirty status report
Graham – Update on portal. Yawn.
Laura Bunga-G spent her weekend shooting shotguns at the leopards

Mike is chilin with Magilla

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